Disclaimer - It's just comedy, that's all.

AN - Okay, before I post anything serious, this is a story that touches on the lighter side of my writing. It's quite old and a lot silly. It's a complete satire about the characters from the first two films as they enter the Big Brother house. See what you think - Jetx

The Fast Big Brother

Chapter one - The grand entrances

“Hello! Welcome to the first day of Big Brother. I’m Regina Fallangy and I’ll be your host throughout the whole show. We have a new theme for this year and that would be...street racers! That’s right folks! Each of the contestants are themselves racers or in some way associated with the sub- culture itself. We have twelve housemates this year, four girls and eight guys. Let’s meet the contestants!”

The small, brunette presenter walks down the stairs leading down from the entrance of the Big Brother house. On the door, there is a big eye painted on, wide open and staring at something in the distance. Regina hurries over to the centre stage as a blacked out car rolls up and pulls to a stop. The crowd surrounding the stage goes wild as the first house mate steps out of the car.

“Contestant number one, Mia Toretto!” screams the annoying host into her large microphone. “Mia’s favourite cookie is double chocolate chip and she was once bitten by a goat,” giving useless information about each of the contestants as they walk into the house.

Mia looks around, disorientated by the crowd and the cameras going off in her face. A faceless helper leads her to the door and pushes her in.

“Next up is Mia’s actual big brother, Dominic Torettoooooooooo!” She elongates the ‘o’ in a boxing ring announcer voice. “In his home town, Dominic is known as ‘The King Of The Streets’ but his softer side see’s him crying at Titanic and getting regular manicures.”

Dominic gets out of the car and, becomes one with himself and the crowd, his face covered in seriousness in his natural pose. Before being forced into the house he whisks around and flashes his pearly whites for the crowd. He joins his sister in the house.

“Following the big fellow himself is his best friend since the third grade, Vincent Schulze! Vince has had a crush on Mia since he was seven and his favourite song is the Britney Spears classic, ‘Baby, one more time’.”

Vince is kicked out of the car and he scowls at Regina for revealing some home truths about him. His eyes never leave her and as he walks to the door, he goes straight into a butch security guard and falls flat on his back. He quickly gets up and ducks into the house.

“Fourth in is the girlfriend of Dominic, Letty Rodriguez!” She shouts, her excitement still as high as ever. “Letty once walked around with a tampon stuck to her leg for three hours before she noticed and she dislikes eggs.”

Letty stumbles out of the car, being held by a big fat guy named Tony. He practically carries her to the house and she struggles all the way. Pushing her into the house, he holds the door shut until she finally gives up and joins the others.

“Next, we have Leon Jones! Leon is an avid fan of the Lakers and enjoys when women suck on his toes.”

Leon saunters towards the door and when he gets there, has a pair of lacy, red thongs on his head.

“Now, we have Jesse Jack James John Jeremy Smith!” The host looks confused and then slaps a hand to her forehead. “Oh wait, my bad. Jesse Jack James John Jeremy Jaime Smith! Jesse lost his virginity the first day he got his license and wet the bed until he was 13”

Jesse, confused and shocked, steps out of the car. A random, naked, fat man from the crowd starts running towards him and Jesse sprints to the door. Finding it locked, he panics and doesn’t know what to do. So, he closes his eyes and prays. But the fat man body checks him and rubs his fat man boobs in his face.

The crowd watches on in awe.

After calming down from his laughter, Tony, the fat security guard, comes in and whisks away the naked fat man. Jesse, now mortified, goes into the Big Brother house.

“Next up, a blast from the past for this team. Former lover of Mia, Brian O’Connor!”

To the house, where Mia gets an older brother look from Dominic.

“Brian secretly wears ladies underwear and dances naked in front of his mirror.”

Brian steps out of the car and pauses for the cameras with a boyish grin on his face. He then proceeds into the house.

“Next, we have Brian’s best friend, the ex-con, Roman Pearce! As a child, Roman accidentally swallowed a used condom and his favourite pass time is making model aeroplanes.”

Rome gets out of the car and falls flat on his face. He gets up, brushes himself off and laughs with the crowd. Then he goes inside.

“Time for another lady now, Suki insertlastnamehere! Suki used to believe that homosexual meant going home to have sex and that Jack Daniels was a magician.”

Getting out of the car, Suki pulls up her low riding pants and walks into the house.

“Next up, we have Tej Parker! Tej no longer races due to a car accident he was in but he does have a dab hand in the betting side of the things. He also owns his own garage and once got wrist cramp from masturbating too much.”

Tej steps out of the car, scratches his head and goes inside.

“Another cop, this time in the form of Monica Fuentes! Monica enjoys long walks on the beach, going to the movies with her friends and she used to be a man,” says Regina, without even thinking about it.

Monica gets out of the car in a very ladylike manner and struts her stuff. She shakes her booty all the way to the house.

“And last, but by no means least, Carter Verone! Carter recently got out of prison, put there thanks to Brian and Roman. I think someone might be set to getting some revenge. Yes folks, Carter dropped the soap.”

Carter steps out of the car, still dressed in a silk shirt and dress pants, he goes inside.

“We’ll be back soon to see how each of the housemates react when they see what we have in store for them tonight. Stay tuned. And remember - Big Brother is watching.”

What the hell? You are insane. LMAO.

Btw....Regina Fallangy? Ok Pheebes. :D

L.

A-thankyou! Indeed, that's where Regina Fallangy came from. And I'll take being insane as a compliment :P

Jetx

how cool man DOTTY DOTTY DOTTY

Funny!!!! tampon stuck to her leg......lol...................."yes he dropped the soap" LMAO!!!!!

Insane is a compliment! Silly! :D

It is. I love my fellow crazies.

:D

L.

Sweet. Insane Alert!

Glad people likey :)

Jetx

OMFG THAT IS INSANE! But I like it. I really really like it! So funny.

lol @ the soap droppage

oh sweet geezus. Jet when I said you gotta start writing again, I never would have thought your genius mind would come up with such witty and crazy ass shinats. Woah. You've gone crazy, and for the first time, without my help. LOL

AWESOME POSSOM, you better continue this, or else you ain't my beta no mo'

:angel:

OMG ....I love it...LMAO...I hope you update it soon

:clap:

Merci Beaucoup!

There's like four/five other chapters written I think 'cause I wrotethis acouple of years ago so I will post them soon-ish :D Because ya'll know I couldn't live if I was no longer Vixxens beta! As if I'm being blackmailed, how very dare you :P

War, mert, totally insane.

Jetx

Evil ways get you far...

So how about you post the next chapter(s) since you know, they're ALREADY written and all.

:angel:

What's that? Coup? As in trying to overthrow a gov't coup? What's a beaucoup?

I love the story, btw. *snickers*...tampon...

that's french. My muffin said "Merci Beaucoup" which means Thanks alot.

:)

Hee, that's my favourite part too. And yeah, sorry I was having a French momeny because I've just come back from there lol.

I will post more soon enough my friends, soon enough.

Jetx

:lol: AAA i loved it! Good idea, something totally different.....you gotta update it soon :pray:

AN: It's more random, it's more silly. You might like it, but then again, you might not. Vixxen keeps shouting 'Dotty' even though this is a PARODY! Lol. Therefore, to keep our faithul mod happy, I've promised her a Dotty fic for her birthday. That is all, on with the show.

The Fast Big Brother

Chapter Two - Dude looks like a lady

“Welcome back to Big Brother! Tonight the house mates find out what their first task is. Over to Big Brother!”

The twelve house mates are gathered on the sofa, still shocked and in wonderment as to why the hell they are in the Big Brother house.

“This is Big Brother. Would Mia please come to the diary room.” The deep voice of Big Brother booms over the sound system.

“What the -bleep- is the diary room?” Asks Mia, getting up and looking around. She sees a door with a big, red, neon sign that says ‘Diary Room’ and immediately feels an idiot for not seeing it. She goes in and sits in the large, red, diary room chair. She is looking at a camera and the same voice comes in to her.

“Hello Mia.”

“Hello...Big Brother,” she says.

“Mia, tonight, you will have to decide which of the other eleven house mates you would like to shoot with a potato gun. The person with the most votes will get pelted with mouldy potatoes in the garden by each of their fellow house mates. Please make a choice now.”

“Brian.”

“Thank you. You may leave the diary room.”

It seems that they all luck out, each of them getting one vote each. They are all in the garden, the man with the potato gun shoots each of them in turn, Brian first as he was the first to be voted. It hits him in the balls.

“Ow! -Bleep- damn -bleep- stupid mother -bleeper- that hurt like a son of a -bleep- I can’t believe you’re putting me through this -bleeping- pain. You -bleeping- -bleep- suckers. And you hit me in the -bleeping- balls!” He shouts, while hopping around the garden, cupping himself.

Later that day...

Everyone, apart from Monica, is sat outside. She walks out and Brian looks at her.

Brian then vomits all over Mia.

Who looks disgusted and then throws up on Leon.

Who laughs and then pukes on Vince.

Who looks at the sick on his shirt and yaks all over Jesse.

Who gets a whiff of the stuff and heaves all over Letty.

Who looks like she’ll be okay but turns and gags over Dominic.

Who wipes the sick from his eyes and barfs on Rome.

Who has to get up and walk to the other side of the garden so he can puke all over Tej.

Who tries to take a drink of water but ends up spewing all over Suki.

Who looks like she may cry but is slapped by Carter.

“Get a hold of yourself darlin’.” He says.

And that was the puke-O-rama.

Even later that day...

“Dude, what is with you? You have brushed your teeth seventeen times already,” says Rome.

“I kissed that she-man! You would brush your teeth at least twenty times before you could feel right again,” Brian says, sending toothpaste spray everywhere.

“I don’t feel right at the moment. After that vomit fest, I don’t think I’ll ever feel right again. Ever!” squeals Rome, running like a little girl to the bedroom.

Vince comes out of the other bedroom. Dressed like a school girl. With a short skirt. And a blouse tied above his bellybutton. And pink fluffy things in his hair. And knee high socks. And extremely hairy legs.

“Oops! I did it again!” he says, in a mocking, high-pitched tone, like a little girlie. He giggles and flounces around the room. He finds a lollipop and begins to suck on it. While moaning. And pulling it in and out of his mouth.

Everyone looks at him. Shocked.

“What?” he asks, twiddling a finger round the fake ponytails attached to his head.

“Dude. You’re dressed like Britney,” states Jesse, looking at him as if he is crazy.

“Yeah. And?”

“I find it extremely hot,” says Dom, in a sensual manner. He walks over to Vince and takes the lollipop from his mouth and proceeds to suck on it, while making eye contact with Vince.

“Eww! Get away from me you homo! I ain’t no faggot!” yells Vince, clearly disgusted. He runs away and Dom follows.

“Come on Vince! I’ll let you suck on MY lollipop!” he yells after him.

“Please Suki! Just suck the little one!” moans Leon, sticking his stinky foot in Suki’s face. Who then proceeds to cry like a bitch. “Damn! They ain’t that bad. Are they Carter?” Leon looks down at Carter, who is sucking on the big toe of his other foot.

“Mmm...mmm...mmm,” he mutters, inaudible over the toe sucking.

Monica walks out of the bathroom and, taking one look at her, Brian puts more toothpaste on his brush and brushes his teeth, once again. Monica sits down beside Jesse who looks really scared.

“Hello Jesse Jack James John Jeremy Jaime Smith,” she says, extraordinarily quickly.

“Uh, hi,” he mutters, inching away from her. She moves even closer to him and starts to stroke his ear.

“I think you’re...very beautiful,” she whispers, flicking her tongue at him. He lets out a scared little noise and dives over the other side of the couch and goes to the bathroom. Immediately scrubbing his ear with soap.

“What is up with all the gayness goin’ on up in here?” Complains Tej. Monica moves over to him and licks his face. “That is disgusting!” He spits in her face and runs to the bathroom to join Jesse and Brian. He too, thoroughly cleans his face.

Monica wipes the spit from her face and spies Carter sucking on Leon’s toe. Leon has closed his eyes and is sitting back in the chair. Monica goes over and starts to suck on the big toe of his free foot.

“Ah, Suki, you decided to-” he opens his eyes to see Monica smiling up at him. He screams and runs into the bathroom to wash his foot.

Monica looks at Carter and the start making out.

“That is gross!” Yells Letty, throwing a dirty pair of underwear at them. However, they still continue.

Mia is hunched over, her head in the fridge.

“Mia, what are you doing?” Letty asks, her eyebrow cocked.

Mia’s head pops up over the refrigerator door and she has chocolate all over her face.

“Nothing,” she says, innocently.

Vince runs out of the bedroom, now dressed in normal clothes. Dom follows. Again. Only this time, Dom is nakey.

“C’mon man, there’s nothing wrong with friends experimenting with each other!” he moans.

“Dude! I’m straight! Deal! I’m sure if you go back to the bedroom, Letty will join you and give you oral pleasure,” Vince says, glancing at Monica and Carter who are still making out. Letty makes an annoyed noise. “Only if you pleasure her first of course,” he adds, smirking at Letty.

“But I wasn’t looking for oral pleasure,” Dom replies, sitting on a kitchen stool and sticking out his bottom lip in a pout and crossing his arms.

Monica appears again and is stroking Dom’s chest. He runs into the bathroom and Monica thinks he/she has been shot down again. But Dom comes out of the bathroom with the Vaseline and they both go into the bedroom.

Jesse, Tej, Leon and Brian stick their heads out of the bathroom door and Mia, Letty and Suki join them in a sing-song:

“Aah! Aah! Dude looks like a lady! Aah! Aah! Dude looks like a lady!”

seven days.... :ph43r:

LOL you know that even though there is NO DOTTY, I'm peeing in my pants laughing. You clever girl, you!

aaaaa omg thats great!!!!!!! :lol:

“Come on Vince! I’ll let you suck on MY lollipop!” <<< aaaaaaaaa that's hilarious!!!!!

This is so funny Jet! *snicker* toe sucking.... :lol:

lol... :lol:

:lol: :lol: i cant stop laughing! i have to pee!

Best. Reactions. Ever!

I'm glad you find my warped sense of humour amusing too! And Mima, girl, you're freaking me out. You have too much power now. Please someone, take away her power!!! Aaaah!

^_^

Jetx

Uh, Jet, Mima hasn't posted here. Maybe it's time to get out the rubber room... :lol:

you mean go into the rubber room right?

I'm so stupid, silly me *walks away with head hung in shame*

*runs after jet* Wait! You can't be stupid! You're writing the Fast and Furious Big Brother. That automatically makes you un-stupid (is that even a word? :lol: )

It is now!

Lol, I'm so glad people are okay with the silly moments I have. As there are many. And thank you very much!

Jetx

Those two parts are my favorite :lol: Love this story is funny, can't wait for the next chapter.

The Fast Big Brother

Chapter three - This and that.

“Day two in the Big brother house and the house mates are still getting to know one and other.” Announces the strange commentator producer guy.

It’s early morning and Vince walks out into the garden. He walks past the window that looks into the bathroom and glances at Mia, showering. He carries on walking and it suddenly clicks. He stops and walks backwards, cocking his head at the naked Mia. He walks closer and closer to the glass, until eventually his nose is pressed against the glass.

Brian walks out and sees Vince with his head against the glass. Curious, he walks over to see what Vince is looking at. His eyes bulge out at the sight of a showering Mia and he too, presses his nose against the glass.

Leon also walks out, sees what the guys are looking at and joins in...

Five minutes later...

Vince, Brian, Leon, Jesse, Letty, Tej, Suki, Rome, Carter and Monica all have their noses pressed against the glass while Mia shower, unknowing. Dom prances out of the house and sees them all crowded round the glass. He skips over to them.

“Hey guys what are you - Hey! That’s my sister!” Dom squeals.

Mia turns around and screams at the onlookers.

Brian starts brushing his teeth; Leon starts laughing; Jesse starts singing; Letty starts playing the ukulele; Tej starts jogging; Suki starts crying; Rome starts break dancing; Carter starts fondling his nipples; Monica starts shaving her face; Dom starts sucking on his lollipop and Vince continues to stare at a horrified Mia.

Sometime later...

The twelve house mates are in the living area. All of a sudden, a girls head pops up from behind the kitchen. She is holding a bowl of mashed potato and a big spoon. Scooping a big dollop of potato onto the spoon, she aims at Leon and flicks the potato off the spoon.

He sees it coming and ducks just in time, making the potato hit Suki in the face. She cries.

“Who are you, you potato flicking fiend?!” Leon asks.

“I’m Jesus,” she says, flicking more potato at him. It hits him in the eye and he falls to the floor.

“Man down! Retreat! Attacker to the North! She has potato! I repeat, she has potato!” He yells, wiping the potato from his eye and crawling to the kitchen.

Jesus, the girl, flicks more potato at the group and it hits Jesse this time.

“Hey!” He protests. He is soon shut up when Leon throws a tomato at his head. Jesse falls to the floor and also crawls into the kitchen. Between them, Leon, Jesse and Jesus throw random pieces of food at the group, causing each of them to crawl to the kitchen to choose their weapon of choice. Apart from Suki, who is still on the couch, crying.

Being the last to get hit by the food bug, Dom is stuck with a can of sweet corn. He is wise to the ways of food fighting and he pours half the can into his mouth. He then proceeds to spit them out at a fast pace, hitting Rome in the chest over and over. Rome feigns being shot and jolts backwards a little after each hit. When Dom runs out of ammo, Rome drops to his knees and falls head first into a puddle of baked beans.

Tej and Letty are both hiding in one of the bedrooms. Letty has Spam in a can and a jug full of gravy. Tej has manky mushrooms and chocolate pudding. Mia and Brian sneak in but are attacked by Tej and Letty, screaming and throwing their gross food over the two of them.

Mia and Brian both fall to the floor, Brian’s head on Mia’s stomach.

Vince is hiding in the bushes. He has painted two black stripes on both his cheeks and has leaves in his hair in an attempt at camouflage. His carton of eggs at the ready and a squeezy bottle of ketchup poised in his hand.

Carter does a James Bond style roll across the garden and lands on his feet, staying in a crouched position. He looks around with shifty eyes and slowly stands to an upright pose, a string of raw sausages draped around his neck. Possibly suitable for a lasso.

All of a sudden, an egg hits him in the side of the face and he drops to one knee. The egg drips slowly down his face and Carter is dazed, looking around to see where the attack came from. Another egg flies his way and hits his chest. He drops to his other knee and then to the floor.

Into the house, where two tables are on their sides as defence systems for the two teams that have joined. Suki, however, is laying on the sofa, head in her hands, still crying.

Leon, Jesse, Vince, Letty, Tej and Jesus are on one side. This team all have hollow watermelon cases on their heads, supposedly helmets.

Dom, Brian, Mia, Carter, Monica and Rome are on the other. They have cauliflower strings placed on their heads like crowns.

Random food items are thrown to each side. Vince uses up the rest of his eggs, throwing them all at once, Leon, Jesse, Tej and him consecutively manage to hit Dom, Brian, Monica and Rome.

Letty has a six pack of beers, her and Jesus each shake one up, rip them open and throw them to the opposing side, sending spray everywhere.

Broccoli, pieces of raw chicken, cooked pasta, soup bombs (soup poured into a sock), mouldy doughnuts, ice cream, wobbly jell-o, blue stilton, coleslaw and wafer thin ham were among the things being thrown.

Thinking it funny, Jesse sets light to a coconut and throws it over.

“She’s gonna blow!” shouts Brian.

Both food groups (bad pun) dive outside dramatically and the fire in the coconut makes it blow up. Causing a small puddle of coconut debris in the centre of the room. Everyone looks at Jesse.

“You went too far dawg,” says Leon, secretly smiling.

“Yeah, that was uncalled for,” says Rome, shaking his head.

“That could’ve been fatal,” says Mia, feeling shocked.

Jesse hangs his head in shame.

“Would Jesse please come to the diary room,” says Big Brother, clearly annoyed.

“Walk of shame Jess,” says Letty, chuckling.

Jesse goes to the diary room and the rest of the house mates collapse to the floor, side by side. A minute later Jesse comes out of the diary room and collapses beside Monica.

“I got a warning,” he says, looking slightly scared.

“I can make you feel better,” says Monica, holding his hand.

Jesse screams and runs inside.

“You had to spoil the moment,” says Vince, on the other side of Monica.

“What about you big boy, you want a piece of this?” says Monica, trying to be seductive.

“Stop that. Stop that right now,” replies Vince, as she twiddles his hair. “Don’t make me kick your ass.”

OMG lmao :lol:

Gawd, i love this.....it's just pure madness!

The image of Dom skipping will haunt me :ph43r:

Loved the sweetcorn bit........ :lol: :D

:dance:

wow this is awesome man

FOOD FIGHT

Food fight...mmm...

* myppe starts laughing so hard that she has to pee*


ROTFLOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:...can't ....stop....laughing..

Ah! Good responses, this makes me happy and warm. Glad you all likey so far ^_^

Jetx

Our comments gave you warm and fuzzies! Now UPDATE :lol:

The Fast Big Brother

Chapter 4 – Shake your thing.

“The house mates are gathered on the sofas, waiting for the surprise Big Brother has in store for them,” comes Regina Fallangy’s voice.

“This is Big Brother. Will someone please come to the diary room to collect the surprise,” orders Big Brother.

Brian gets up and goes into the diary room. A moment later he comes out cautiously. Followed by agirl. Who is holding a gun to his back.

“Make up a song for me pretty boy!” She demands, enjoying the shocked looks on the other house mates faces. When Brian doesn’t respond, she slaps him upside the head – “Now!”

“Uh...” He looks around the room and finds his muse. “Oh! – Monica!” He sings in a low voice.

“You’re colder than a thermometer!” His voice gets higher.

“Like snow!” Low again.

“You have to goooooooo!” He elongates the word ‘go’ and his voice cracks.

“For your sex change operation at the Salvation Army!” His voice has reached an all time high and the other house mates cringe.

“By meeeeeeeeeee!” He finishes with an extremely high note and his eyes are closed. Sang with such feeling.

He opens his eyes again and realized that it sounded like he was saying he was going to perform the surgery.

“I mean the song’s by me, I’m not a doctor and I’m certainly not experienced in that field and I definitely – DEFINITELY – didn’t touch that,” he explains extremely fast.

“Yeah.” He finishes, in a low, macho voice and, in an attempt to regain his masculinity after the high pitched squealing, he grabs his groin and says ‘Sup?” Flicking his head at the rest of the house mates.

“Okay,” says the girl, who we shall call Dave, looking slightly shocked at what she had just experienced. “Good effort cowboy. Sit.” She orders, making Brian jump. He immediately sits down and his cheeks go bright red.

Dave looks around and points to Mia.

“You! Hit someone. Hard. Hurt them. Make them bleeeeeeeeeed!” She orders.

Mia shrugs and gets up. She walks over to Brian and punches him in the arm. He squeals an ‘OW!’ and rubs his arm. Mia looks satisfied.

“All right,” Dave pauses, “Yo, bald headed guy. I want you to dress up as Britney and serenade the scruffy one,” she says, pointing at Vince with her gun.

Dom looks angry but as he walks to the bedroom, he grins. While Dom gets ready, Dave picks out her next victim. She looks at Rome and smiles, mischievously.

“I want you -” she points her gun at him, “- to make out with her -” pointing at Monica “- for thirty seconds. With tongues,” she smiles sweetly at the horrified look on his face.

Monica jumps up and straddles Rome, giving him no choice. He looks at Dave, scared for his life but she just grins and walks closer to them to make sure he does it right. The rest of the house mates crowd round and watch. Monica attaches her lips to Rome as Dave begins to count down. Painfully slowly. There is a lot of tongue action, mainly on Monica’s behalf. The other house mates express sounds of disgust but strangely, find their eyes drawn to them, like a car accident on the freeway.

Monica pulls away, a satisfied look smothering her manly features. Rome pushes her to the ground and runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth immediately.

Dom is ready by this time and he comes out of the bedroom with Vince’s Britney outfit on. However, them not being quite the same size (I say quite), he is busting out of the blouse and the skirt has ripped at the seams on the sides. The knee high socks are complete with platform shoes that make him even taller than he is.

He stumbles in the heels over to Vince, who is so horrified, he is glued to his place on the couch. The other house mates bust up laughing as he stands in front of Vince.

“Sing!” Orders Dave.

Dom begins to thrust his pelvis in Vince’s face, whose eyes have widened in fear. He is staring right at Dom’s crotch as Dom begins to sing ‘Baby, one more time’ in a Marilyn Monroe-esque style. When he finishes, he sits beside Vince and twiddles with pretend hair, even though he’s bald.

Vince doesn’t know what to say but eventually comes out with – “You butchered the song Dominic. You messed up the words and it is too strong for your voice.” He sounds uncannily like Simon Cowell, the Pop Idol judge. He shakes his head, not knowing what had come over him when he said it. It was like he was actually Simon Cowell. Strange...

“Okay you!” Dave points to Carter, “Suck his toes,” She says, pointing to Leon.

Carter and Leon share a look as Carter kneels before him.

“We meet again, pretty feet,” greets Carter, slowly pulling Leon’s stinky sock off. He throws it behind him and it hits Tej in the face.

“Hey you lil’ fricker, that hit me in the face!” Complains Tej but Carter has already latched himself onto Leon’s toe.

Leon giggles – “That tickles,” he says.

“I am so missing something here,” says Dave, watching them with a confused look on her face. She bends down and comes back up with, what looks like, two pieces of paper. She hands them both to Suki and she sees that they are actually photographs.

“This is yo momma. This is Tej’s momma...Which one do you think is prettier?” Asks Dave, innocently.

Suki looks at the pictures, then she looks at Tej...then she starts to cry.

Dave then turns to Letty, who inwardly cringes.

“No, I like you,” she says and turns to the next person. Letty looks smug and sits back in her place.

“You, scruffy man, wax your facial hair. It’s annoying me,” she demands.

Vince shrugs and starts to lather the wax onto his face. He goes to put one of the strips on but is stopped.

“No. I wanna pull ‘em off,” Dave says, walking over to him with a serious face. She rubs one of the strips onto his face and rips at it, causing Vince to let out a yelp of pain.

“Geez! You could just told me to shave it!” He yells.

“And in what way would that have been fun?” Dave asks, a deathly calm look on her face.

Next, she turns to Monica.

“I want you to sing me a song...The one from the end of Grease. The woman’s part. Go!” She orders.

Monica gets up and is staring at Brian as she sings. Badly.

“You better shape up!” She does a little dance to accompany her song.

“’Cause I need a man!”

“You are a man,” Brian says, moaning to himself. He produces his toothbrush again and vigorously cleans his teeth.

“That’s not your toothbrush,” Monica tells him, an innocent look on her face.

“What?”

“It’s mine,” she giggles.

Brian lets out a pitiful noise and runs to the bathroom in search of his own toothbrush.

“Ooookay,” starts Dave, “Teg.” She says Tej completely wrong, pronouncing the ‘j’ as ‘g’.

“That would be Tej,” He interrupts, correcting her.

“Whatever Teg,” she replies, still not getting it right, “Eat this full pack of liquorice in one minute,” she says, throwing him a pack of it.

He shrugs - “Okay.” Then proceeds to eat the contents.

Penny turns leans beside Letty - “Natural laxative,” she says, in a hushed tone, causing them both to laugh and high five each other.

She turns to Leon this time - “Will you lick the potted plant of my choice?” She asks.

“Uh, yeah,” he shrugs, thinking how easy his dare was. He was soon thrown off his high horse when Dave produces a cactus. He mentally kicks himself and licks the spiny, green plant.

Five minutes later and he is still pulling the needles out of his tongue.

“Last one!” Exclaims Dave. She turns to Jesse - “Dance for me peppy!”

Jesse gets up and looks rather scared. He begins to move his hands about and makes small noises, as if he is dancing to a tune in his head.

All of a sudden, he changes the way he moves and dances with more feeling. One shoulder jolts up and down and he looks at it with widened eyes and a large eerie smile on his face, as if it is moving on its own. The other shoulder moves in sync with the other now, and he begins to thrust his pelvis. He makes his fingers in to ‘v’ shapes and pulls them in front of his eyes, disco style.

Then, he starts to move his arms as if he is lifting small weights up and down from his hips to his shoulders. His head is bobbing around, the smile still present. He places one arm out in front of him and uses the other arm to slap the air underneath his hand, like he is smacking his bitch up.

As he continues with his kerr-azy dancing, his eyes close in concentration. When he opens them, the other house mates have disappeared. He looks around and then Leon sticks his head in through the back door - “You always take it one step too far dawg. You need to learn the limits,” he says, laughing.

O M G :lol: :lol: I love it!!

Dom in a wig.......another image that will haunt me :lol:

And Jesse dancing........ :lol: give me a few drinks n i actually dance like that :ph43r:

You seriously rock!

aaaaaaa this is awesome man hahahah

dom in a weg yes rather disturbing

^Ha! :lol:

As Chelsea said, this is hilarious, yet disturbing...