I am currently in turmoil with myself over how I should "come out of the closet". This thread is for tips (from whomever has, and just for ideas) on how to "come out". Please share thoughts, tips, and even expriences on this subject.

well, who do you need to come out to, your parents? friends? I say Just get it over and done with, in the end you feel better, i am not in need of coming out because I am straight, so i have to say I really dont know any advice on coming out. i remember Ellen Degeneres has some tips about coming out. i just dont know where to find them, any way, I hope you find happiness on this subject :)

I think at first you should decide who you want to tell. First, or at all. If you know that, you can choose how you want to tell. If talking is too hard you may write a letter.

In any case, when you appear strong and certain of yourself and who you are, people will accept :) And who doesn't isn't worth it.

I'm biseksual so it might be a little bit different, but I don't feel the need to tell everyone. When it comes up I tell because I'm totally committed to myself and my choices, but I never plan on it.
Sometimes I feel it's weird to tell people about your seksual preferences. Everyone just assumes you are attracted to people from the opposite sex.

Well, anyway: Good luck with it :) Stand up for yourself, your feelings and choices. That can never be wrong!

Thank you mel. Unfortunatly, I don't have enough confidence to just come out and say it :P

Jill, I am bisexual also. I swear I am "out" to everyone EXCEPT my immidiate family. Friends, teachers at school, seriously everyone but my family. My mom has asked me if I'm a lesbian before but I said no, because I'm not a lesbian. I sometimes beat myself up over saying no but I also say to myself, if she asks me the "right" question, (i.e. "Do you like women?"), I'll say yes.

so next time she asks maybe you should say that you are Bisexual. I know its hard, believe me, some of my friends have to go through that, just having to have to come out and say there Bisexual, but in the end, they felt good about it.

I'm not sure she will ask again and that's where I need your help. All of you.

maybe you should approach her 1 on 1

It might not be fair to just tell your mom alone...You might want to consider telling your immediate family as a whole...

But, feel them out first...See where they stand on the issue. Just because you feel you might be ready to tell them; they might not be ready to hear such a huge issue.

Sexuality can be very difficult for different generations...

Be strong, hun.


Later... :kick:

Maybe you should tell your Mom when she is alone.I would assume the only way to tell her is to come out with it straight forward.There is no point in tryna make it seem easier for her to understand.Chances are she might already know.

I don't know good luck.

Anna

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I am taking all of them into consideration and trying to figure out which would be best :D

no problem! were here for ya! and if you need to, talk to me on msn!

All i would say is do not be afraid to admit who you are! :)

If your mum wont kill you, then you can tell her.

Tell whoever you feel comfortable the most with, and know you wont get a bad reaction. Its always good to test the water first by bringing up a topic like..."hey that angelina jolie, has slept with women before, what do you think of that?" and then maybe, she'll give you a response and that be that...or she might see what your doing, and ask you.

Which makes it easier to come out. :)

Your mum loves you b/c your her daughter but mostly b/c you are you.......If your mother loves you, and she does, then she will accept you by what you are and what u feel comfortable with!! She is not there to judge you, but to give you advice and to follow and be part of your upbringing....cuz that's what parents do!!

What age are you? If you are still in your teen years, you will have more time to let her and yourself get used to the idea!!

Maybe at first her impression will be of amazement or something of the kind...but she will stick by you.................I know it's easier written than done, but take your time, don't stress over it!!

There is this movie, the family stone...here the mother just to make her gay son feel normal she said that she prayed for all her sons to be like that!!

Your mother will adjust herself, cuz she knows that she can't do nothing to change who you are.....she wouldn't won't you to liue to yourself and refuse your sexual nature, she wants the best for you and that is for you to be happy.............wether it is a female or a male!!

Coming out is never easy.. as i have gone through it myself..

First thing, is you should probably be certain of who you really are.. and what you're abbout.. personally, one's i think accepting one self is a lot more difficult, if you've done this.. then i think the rest will just follow...

Coming out to your friends, trust me, its not that hard.. that's why they're your "FRIENDS" they love you exactly the way you are, and if they don't.. well.. some people's perception are just too strong to fight with.. whether they accept you or not.. its their issue, not yours

Now with your family, i myself haven't come out that directly.. i told my sister i was a lesbian like 5 years ago and she freaked out... up until now shes still thinks im a freak and will definitely go straight to hell when i die.. i understand her.. that's the way she understand things..

Being gay/lesbian.. is not easy. but i came to realization that not all people will like you because you're like that.. so if people won't like me because im like this, i don't care... i like myself.. i guess thats the most important part.

Madam Tampini?! Nervous about something?! *shocked*

;)

Come on chica your very gutsy....you'll be ok. :)

L.

sit your mom or your family or whoever down

ask them if they want you to be miserable for the rest of your life? if they enjoy seeing you unhappy....and if they want you to find happiness?

when they say no, which obviously theyre gonna do and that they want you to be happy

then say good, cause im gay/bisexual and i wanna find someone special to make me happy too

and see what they say to that.

theyre not gonna take it back and turn around and say, actually, now ive found that out, i hope youre miserable

not if they love you

Chelle xxx

Come check out these Websites:

http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?t=239647

Forum: http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?t=239647

Hope this can help you. When it comes to coming out to your parents, Don't worry. If they truely love you. They wouldn't care, as long as your happy. GOODLUCK!!!

*OXOXOXOXOXOXOX's*

Minx

mogwaid, my mom has always said that whomever I choose to love is ok with her. But the thing is that I'm not sure she was acually expecting to have a kid that likes the same sex.

Michelle_4ever, that was great advice, thank you. I'm newly 16 and I was thinking about waiting untill I move out to tell her just incase. I don't necisarily think something bad is going to happen, but you never know, right?

sever, I was thinking about telling my sister (if she doesn't already know, we have some of the same friends), but I'm not sure that's too good of an idea. She found out I did drugs and she went and told my mom :rolleyes:

Leigh, :P yes ma'am. I am ver nevous about this. It rattles my bones.

allaboutangel, that would definatly be a good test of how much my family really cares about me.

Minx, thank you for the links. I'm going to click them now :D

That's exactly what I do, test the water first, and I feel it's much more easier. But then I'm not very gutsy when it comes to confessions and so forth :rolleyes: .

I think you could just lay it easily on her, start an conversation about it start asking her questions about it and then start saying what you wanna say.

What I do is I tell someone, and I hint, then like the next week..I gently tell them....then more and more, step by step - so they don't get it all in one big blow..and they're still kinda standing processing what you've just said.

Hope I helped! And I hope you can let go of those nerves, we only live once!
*Mwah*

might as well come out myself. I am bisexual (kinda) Madam Tampini knew first :P
I guess i am rather embarrased about saying that

It's a great start, mel! I started coming out on the internet, then to my friends, next, the family.

What makes you embarrased to say that?

i just denied it for a while. cuz i liked michelle for a while before joining this forum, i guess i just need to find myself

I understand :)

I just hope you'll never deny your feelings. You are good the way you are, whether you are straight, gay or bi.

I like the fact that I'm bi: Oh the choices!! :D

Yessssssssssssss :P

Melissa...

Tampini...

You are both strong, young ladies...And we all, I say ALL, have faith that you will find your paths to happiness. :)

And Melissa...I'm totally here for you...Write me!

:hug:


Later... :kick:

Heck I can be Bi! *shrugs*
I can be whatever I want, I wouldn't be afraid going round snogging the same sex, you only live once! As long as you have fun, it don't matter.

:P I'm not afraid either it's just I need somewhere to live :D

HAHAH!! Yea me too :unsure:
So I'd ask my parents like what do you think about, say Angelina Jolie....? And see what she says, then I'd hint....

But then I'm an individual person and wouldn't tell them anyway :P :angel:

:P I ripped out some of the pages from the "Who's gay and who's not" issue of National Enquirer (I purchased it first, of course :rolleyes: ) and they are hanging on my wall. No one in my family has said anything.

Oh speaking of "ask your parents what they think about[...]", I asked my mom if she liked t.A.T.u. and she said no. I then persued to ask her if it was because of their (former) lesbian antics? She responded with a big no, that would never affect the way she thinks about something. Hopefully that logic will remain true when she finds out about me :P

:)

Stay the course, hun...


Later... :kick:

If your mom has already asked you if your gay, then maybe she is ready to hear the truth. It sounds to me like she already knows. Perhaps she just wants you to open up to her.

:o I never thought of it that way! :P Thanks hinemoa.

As far as i know... it feels great to be out... not all people may like you or accept you.. but hell that's the way life works... you can't please everybody.. Not everyone are nice.. so just be nice to yourself.. regardless of what other people think.. at the end of the day.. the only person you have is yourself...


" stop living up to someone else's expectations, live up to yours "

:yeah:

It's all about accepting yourself. How you truly are. Bi, gay, straight, it doesn't matter. Be yourself :)

Madam Tampini, I think your mother wouldn't be too surprised when you tell her ;) She already asked herself and you've given some hints :)
I hope you'll find the courage to tell her because that will give you some peace, I expect. Good luck!

i agree

i think she already knows

from the things youve mentioned here she seems to have the right idea

i think telling your mom would be really easy for you

she sounds really supportive :)

Chelle xxx

These lot are totally spot on!
If your mum has seen the hint on the wall, and not said anything - she's definately considering it, so if it's on her mind, you should go for it!

I'm so incredably ready to do this, and I have been for a while, but every time I get the chance, I freeze up and don't do it :unsure:

I think that people should love you for who u truely are....and if they dont then that's there problem. U shouldnt let other people decide how u are, just becoz ur gay doesnt make u any different, ur still the same person you've always been.

Always, always stay true to yourself, :)