Saw it this morning, it was in the small back theater room of a major theater in my area and it was me and there was like 6 other people in the theater lol. I know there's another topic, but yeah eh....anyway. SUCKED. Like, laughable this film was....I found that when it was over I was relieved, laughing, and also VERY angry b/c I'm so sick of this kind of CRAP for MR.

There were things about the movie that weren't as horrible as I thought they were going to be, and then there were things that were ten times worse. Beware, this review includes SPOILERS.

Michelle's character Katarin isn't exactly evil, just kind of stupid. In an attempt to try to give a last ditch effort at survival and freedom she thinks she can somehow appease Kagan and hold something over him by obtaining what he's after and planning to use it as power over him rather than fight to save her and the few remaining Brimstoners' lives at the end when they come and attack them and Katarin knows they can't win b/c of Vladamir (Madsen)'s poor management and running down of the soceity, but this is a sort of betrayal to the soceity, so in a rather anti-climactic and UTTERLY disappointing scene towards the end, Rayne friggin snaps her neck and feeds off of her. Wow....I think that was THE LONGEST run-on sentence I've ever written. Huh. Anyway....they portray/build up Katarin as a damn badass leader and frelling awesome fighter, then they don't even have her die in a good battle. It was yet another pathetically angering thing about this movie.

Let's start off with the negative things, which quite frankly is all I have. :D

ACTION: The gore was....well, laughable....I thought it was going to be WAY over the top, and it was, but it wasn't even over the top in a way that was sick or disturbing, instead it was hilarious and Kill Bill-style....only....WITHOUT the style and humor....it's like I think they were really taking themselves seriously by making the blood POUR and SHOOT and SPLATTER out of people in a way that was so unrealsitic that everytime it happened, and it happened a LOT, you actually laughed instead of cringing lol. The fighting was abominable. Michelle Rodriguez and Matt Davis were the ONLY people with some believable or exciting fighting. Problem was Michelle/Katarin did not do it enough. In the beginning she just sort of stood around, and the others did a lot more fighting. Do NOT even get me started on Kristanna Loken's attempt at looking cool, fighting, or even acting very well for that matter. She was menacing in T3, but here? What the hell happened I don't knot. Her fighting scenes were....laughable, I'm affraid. She looked awkward and unsure. That's one thing I can't stand about many actresses thrown into action roles....it doesn't matter how big or strong they are....sometimes they just look horrible trying to do physical action. The beginning where she breaks free from the carnival and stars jumping on people like a damn angry rabid racoon sucking the life out of people she pounces on? All I could do was laugh. The best fight scene of the whole film was the Michelle/Kristanna sword fight. Here, Michelle Rodriguez seemed to do all of her stuff herself, or so it looked like...and can I say, that not only can Michelle ride a jet ski, box, kickbox, and all of that but she can add horseback riding (sort of, lol) and sword fighting (especially...hey she pulled it off swimmingly) to her resume. Not even being biased here, she was fantastic at the little pieces of crap she was given to do. The scene was WAY too short but what did go on was the best action of the film. Michelle was fast and smooth and looked like she'd gotten a good mastery of it which is just what the character was supposed to seem like. That was at least good (plus the girly part of me ADORED her purple coresett/top thing). The rest of the action was boring and yawn-worthy. I think it says a lot when the best action in the film is not your "climactic" showdown between your heroine and your big bad guy but rather a twenty-one second fencing/sword scene between the heroine and a side female character. Michelle upstaged Kristanna there especially, let alone in every other scene they were in together.

ACTING: I thought Kristanna might actually pull something off, but she did not. Her expressions were flat and boring. And I don't mean in your typical Michelle-style Blue Crush or Resident Evil boring way where although it may be repetative and lackluster it's at least serving some sort of a purpose (by demostrating a sense of boredome or anger). Kristanna was so....bleh. She can NOT hold a film, at least not with red hair and no makeup. To accept her as the sexy, firey heroine was NOT possible and I REALLY tried to be open to her as the lead but she proved me right. When she was supposed to be sad or affraid she just...she really came off as someone who was pulled off the street and had no acting experience. I'm always defending Michelle for knowing she has talent behind the bs, but I honestly can't do that for Kristanna, b/c I wonder if she does. The only thing Kristanna did well was on OCCASION her accent was decent, not excellent, but decent....that is when it existed. The same with Michelle....I didn't seen an abomination of an accent like other reviews say. What I saw was, towards the end of the film, she really seemed to fall into the accent decently well. Not perfect nor anywhere near it...believe me, lol, just....acceptable. Tolerable, and good if you remember she's a latina from Jersey, lol. More practice and she might have been better. Her acting was decent considering what she was given, which was like a total of 20 lines and a bunch of those typical "I'm scowling at you giving you an annoyed look b/c I don't like what you're doing/what's happening". Yeah, same of Michelle typecasting....BUT there was a few moments when she stood out. The swordfight scene in particular, not only was she fantastic with the physical action, but she somehow stayed enough focused despite doing the action at the same time to come off as confident, focused, and slightly humorously patronizing to the Rayne character. Then at the end, she was great right before she dived into the water. She was fed up and taking care of things herself and it came off well. Will Sanderson was suprisingly kind of good looking and cool as Kagan's best goon. Btw, Billy Zane played Michelle's father...what the hell? He's like in his thirties and he didn't even look much older than her, but he did a decent job of being the smooth assey self he portrayed briefly. To sum up: Ben was flawless per usual (though clearly phoned-in his role), Michelle was cool/kick ass (and looked great) despite being massively underused in this joke or a "film", Will Sanderson was decent, and Billy Zane was humorous in almost a good way. Kristanna was not good and can NOT hold a film on her shoulders, Michal Madsen was flat and looked bored, and Matt Davis was....average yet yawn-worthy.

SEXUALITY: Holy mother of sh*t. Can I just say that I felt violated watching the sex scene between Matt Davis (Sebastian) and Kristanna Loken (Rayne)? First off, until that point the two had sparred briefly and had a three sentence conversation, so for them to hookup was laughable. But anyway, the scene played out as follows: She looks at him out of the blue all lusty and walks up to him while he's writing and she yanks him up and slams him into these jail doors like she wants to feed. He's like 'No', and instead acts like he wants to kiss her. They kiss awekwardly, then the horror begins. She reaches down and disappears below screen as if she's pulling his pants and her own down. Stands back up, climbs up onto him as he's standing there. She proceeds to hold onto the damn jail bars as she thrusts up and down friggin riding him as the jail doors clang at every hump. His mouth is all open shocked and and in pleasure and it's really weird the look on his face that makes it that much more awkward. We get grunting and clearly graphic movement that is again, awkward and it keeps going and going and going and going and your sitting there shifting in your seat unvelieving and irritated that your witnessing this pathetic and unexpected display. The grunting and movement continues as she rips her damn shirt open and Kristanna's breasts proceed to friggin flop around filling half the damn movie screen. I tried to look at her face and eventually looked away completely b/c it was just going overboard when Matt Davis proceeded to actually friggin lick. her. nipple. I caught that out of the corner of my eye and thought "He did NOT just do what I think he did." They continue to kiss some more and it's finally over and then I proceeded to try to bargain with God to get the last four minutes of my life back. On top of that, there's the scene with the fat vamp (Meatloaf) and his 8 naked whores, who I'm sorry but what proud mother's these chicks have, "Hey mom! I got a job in LA!! I'm in a movie where my only function is to sit completely nude onscreen with my damn breasts and ass exposed!" Nice. There's some girls a mom could be proud of. *shakes head*

MICHELLE: Again, she did as good as she could just like her other films, considering what she was given. The fact that she died too quickly and easily and anti-climatically was a shame. She friggin was supposed to be cool and a great fighter, yet she dies like that? Whatever. Michelle and Ben Kingsley were the ONLY two good actors or anything in this film and that is not saying much believe me. Michelle looked fantastic though at least. Anyway, she was as cool as always, though the character was somewhat of an antagonist/bad gal type in the end. She was YET again, grossly misused and even more grossly underused. She was in the film MAYBE a combined total of....ten minutues? And every scene she was in were the ones that we have the promo pics from. She was in like maybe one more scene besides that....such a disappointment. The craziest part was that in EVERY scene she was in, she STOLE the scene. You looked at her not Kristanna or anyone else for that matter....she stole every second away from her and Matt and even Michael Madsen. THIS is why I found myself angry as hell walking out. Yet again, I am so SICK of Michelle riding sidecar in sh*tty films to lesser actors. I sat there thinking I cannot believe that that is all she gets to say and do....she has ten times the screen prescence than anyone else in that movie except maybe Ben Kingsley and yet here again she is not used to her full potential. This movie reaffirms, that she should be STARRING in bigtime quality films as the leador at least co-lead. Michelle is LEAD material....why no one in the business of any significance wants to or chooses to see this I cannot and will not understand and it LITERALLY drives me INSANE, considering I'm an aspiring writer/director myself. I just wish I had the resources to write my own friggin film and just put Michelle in the role she deserves me damn self. *panting* Sorry, I just got so riled after watching this abomination and yet again realizing what an injustice it is that she's not getting lead roles....and that people like Uwe Boll get millions to finance these absurd projects.

Anyway, yeah this movie SUCKED. It is the single worst film she's been in by far....the plot was full of holes....the acting was laughable, the dialogue....well, when someone spoke you ACTUALLY cringed at what they said. Uwe Boll took a decent and somewhat cool video game concept idea and turned it into a cheesey, horribly acted, horrifically written sex and gore show with a lead who can't lead or hold a screen and a side player who stole every scene she was in then was killed off abruptly and unbelievably to serve the "greater good" of an idiotic plot. Now I understand why people say that Uwe Boll should be banned from filmmaking. This film was a joke. It was disgusting and stupid and it was not even disgusting in a good way, but rather in a way where you actually laughed out loud when you were SUPPOSED to be feeling other emotions. The characters were unrelatable b/c of how they were so horribly written and performed. You almost wanted to root for Michelle's character instead of the friggin heroine....and you almost wished Kristanna, Matt, and Michael's characters had died and the rest of the film was Michelle (who you wish came back to life as a vamp) and Ben Kingsley just going around being evil and cool together. Now THAT would have been entertaining! Anyway, this film was a cheesey, badly written, horrifically directed joke that is to me yet another black stain on Michelle's film record. It's a shame really....but at least, as always, despite the horribleness of the movie, Michelle was cool and good in it, as she always seems to add some light to the darkness of these bad films.

Can I have the last two hours of my life back please? Oh, and my six bucks.

1 out of 5 stars (if that much....is zero an option?)

*thumbs WAY down*

L.

OMG!! I loved your review!!! Guess what... I think you should totally send that to michelle! :D

anyways... like I expected.. and now my expectations were proven to be correct... the movie sucked ass bad!!! its such a shame that.. like you said... this is another black stain one her film record.. *sigh*

oh well lets hope The Breeds at least a lil bit better... which im sure it is... nothin can be as bad as that movie...

Im so pissed at Uwe... i could seriously go to him and school him a bit... i mean what does HE THINK!!! goin to do a movie thats that bad about a decent game... I mean it had potential before.. but I think that Uwe just raped the whole game.. and any good ideas of a plot for a movie based on that game... *sigh* ass..hole

Well people, get ready:
This movie sucked ass just like everyone would say it would. <_<
The acting was bad the dialogue was even worse. Oh I'm sorry, what dialogue what a waste of film. This is by far the worst movie I've seen in my life. I'm serious I've never seen another movie that sucked as much as this one.

There was no plot. What was the point of this film anyway?
her trying to kill her father?

The sex scene didn't even make sense to me. I took my 16 yr. old brother with me :blink: and it wasn't a nice thing to do. I felt odd watching that scene with him.

The game I hear, is way better and actually has a plot to it.
How sad is that.
I give this movie half a star out of 5

This movie definitely did suck....

When I saw the gore I did think it was like Kill Bill... just not 1/4 as good ( saying 1/4 is being generous)

I love Michelle to death... but its not worth seeing... shes barely in the movie...

her character pulls sudden disappearing acts through must of the fight scenes...

and WHAT THE HELL was with her death.... I might be able to stand the movie if she got a decent death scene.. all Rayne did was snap her neck... anyway

What else was wrong with this movie... so many things... so little time..

It would have been interesting to see Milla Jovovich play Rayne... ( only because her and Michelle worked together in Resident Evil... and I think shes better than their pick )

The sex scene came out of nowhere and made absolutely no sense...


Im done for now

the first half hour or so of this movie was unintentional comedic gold. and i agree, michelle stole every scene she was in. that's why made me like her in the first place. the first time i saw her was in TFATF and she stole every single scene. when she's on screen, you're just drawn in.

there were parts of this movie that literally made me laugh out loud and they weren't supposed to be funny, that's the sad part. the cast is great (for the most part, though kristanna loken and the fortune teller bugged the sh*t out of me), but you can tell that michael madsen and billy zane were both like "what are we doing in this crap movie?"

if you're a michelle fan, then i think it's worth seeing (though others may disagree). just to see what she can do with a piece of sh*t like this.

the best part of the movie is the setting, the landscape, the buildings, it's all really impressive to look at. i tried to focus on the positive and that and michelle were the best i could come up with.

Ha. I totally agree....that's what I tried to do to....enjoy the good things....though like you said....they were few and far between. :D

the dialogue and kristanna loken are what got me the most. when billy zane calls that one guy a kiss up or a suck up, i was like WHO SAYS THAT BEFORE THE 1900'S? and the actors looked like they didn't even believe what they were saying, so i don't know how an audience was supposed to.

the fortune teller scene was so hokey, it actually made me uncomfortable to watch it. the opening scenes with kristanna loken, where she's crying and there's blood all over her, i actually laughed because it was just so bad i couldn't help it. and the ending wasn't even an ending. the movie just stopped. i mean, i'm not complaining, but everyone around rayne is dead and she's like oh well here let me go sit in this chair and stare straight ahead.

the thing is, this movie was so much better than i expected it to be. which probably says a lot about how low my expectations were to begin with. it wasn't by any means great, or even good, but i was entertained. though i think that mainly has to do with paying really good attention so i wouldn't miss michelle.

the swordfighting scene was pretty much worth the price of admission, even if the rest of the movie wasn't.

damn i didn't expect it to be that baddd i mean i didnt watch it but the way you guys are describing it and the way leigh described it.. like damnnn!

It's not playing here.

Yeah, there's a reason. :D

When it opened, it was playing at ALL of my local theaters (though I do live in a heavily populated area) in one showroom and for about four showings a day....now I think it's already out of the theater.

Hey, you want to hear something pathetically funny? Uwe Boll actually had the gaul in a recent interview to try to insiuate that some of the blame should be on the actors, and also he ACTUALLY said something along the lines of "Well, if everybody who'd clicked onto and looked at the website would have seen it we'd have made 25 million." HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I can NOT believe this guy is actually blaming and whining about the fans and such as if THEY/WE let HIM down....he won't even take responsibility....and besides, what reasonable and self-respecting big time film director ACTUALLY talks like that publically?! He's not even professional....jebus cripes.

Uwe Boll is, astonishingly, entering the higher echelon of movie-makers... look at the casting he is able to get! Ain't no way he could cast freakin' BEN KINGSLEY without he had incriminating pictures or something.

And, just to be trivial, the naked girls who sat with Meatloaf were actual Romanian prostitutes. Boll hired them because they were cheaper than REAL actresses.

Yikes! With all the bad about the movie would you still reccomend Michelle fans watch it or is it something we should skip? :unsure:

I'd recommend you see it....but ONLY on DVD....you'll save a little cash....but still get to see Michelle do her thang, however brief and tragically underused it may be.

Wait for video...well, lol, I don't think you'll have to wait long considering you probably can't find it playing in theaters anywhere. :D

Sorry I'm in a bit of a mean mood...I just downed some Smirnoff (Black Cherry) and I'm a bit giggly and mean. I don't like myself giggly, it's quite disturbing....but mean I can deal with. ;)

OMG I love smirnoffs specially the green apple ones and triple black...
Mmmm I can just taste them. So good. :D

Smiiiiirnoff. Sorry, I just kinda wanted to bump this topic what with the DVD coming out in a month.

:)

L.

May I join in?
Maybe we should head to the bar Leigh.

Good idea....better yet, I'm goin' to bed....I'll hit the bar tomorrow. ;)

L.

i just saw bloodrayne tonight. Umm...i don't really know what to say. Since i already knew the basis of the storyline, i tried to follow along... my friends however were so completely lost! They didn't like it...but i was just there supporting michelle, so i didn't really care about the rest of the film. i hated the ending...we see a chick on a chair! Yippie! :angry: NOT! WHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THAT!!! whatever...i thought michelle kicked some serious ass in this movie! I liked how she leaned backwards and kicked that guy! Anyways...i thought it was ok...but to anyone else that didn't know the basic storyline before the movie probably wouldn't of liked it. Even tho this movie bombed...i still love michelle!!! YAY!!!

gUcHI2 :D

I still can't get over how utterly BAD ASS Katarin was....and yet that's how she died? Getting her neck snapped in a two second scene? WTF!?

I think they knew they'd set her up to be just too cool....and her getting beat by Rayne in a REAL fight just wouldn't have been realistic considering they made Katarin this kicking, sword-fighting, bow shooting, leader/fierce warrior. So, they made her die quick and believable....yet annoying to boot. Such a shame THIS is the film MR said she'd consider a sequel to. Hopefully she said that BEFORE actually seeing the final product lol. But yeah, she'll FINALLY consider doing a sequel....but it's for a movie that will NEVER get touched or progressed again lol.

How about Blue Crush 2 (Eden's turn) or Resident Evil 3 (Rain returns) or SWAT 2 (Chris and Street hookup) or TFATF 4 (Dom and Letty in Mexico). Now THOSE are sequels I'd kill to see her in.

L.

haha...i couldn't agree more.

maybe the reason she'd wanna do a sequel is kuz she likes the sword fights and the funky medival type costumes. That's the only reason i can think of.

gUchI2 :D

LMAO!!!
Dom and Letty in Mexico *drool*

I still can't wait to see BR. I have no idea tho when it's gonna be released in the Netherlands, if ever...

i have not seen the movie yet but with your revies i may not. But since she is in it i may :unsure:

the movie sucked man , i watched it to see michelle but my parents watched as well and i was jees specially at the sex sceane gawd im like and yeah michelle was the one who really stole it in the sceanes she was in,

and yeah im buggered of at the fact she is leading lady material not the person who remains in the background i think stan lee may have realised that picking her for tigeress lets hopw its agood movie

and the bloodrayne story lined sucked i dent get it at all, well i cant talk i walked out of silent hill i was so bored 10 mins in and american haunting that was shizer as well dent go anywhere

i give it one eight of a star out of ten

Oh God, you watched that scene with your parent? I know....I so get the awkwardness, been there my friend....nothing quite like sitting in a theater with your mother and watching two actors hump eachother and grunt and lick....things. Yeesh. If you're gonna have to sit through that it should at least be hot....it.....was NOT. It was disgusting and disturbing and tacky as hell.

And yes, let's hope Tigress will be dark and cool and sexy and not be cheesey and stupid like some of the recent comic book films. If it is a cross between the dark drama of the X-Men films and the light fantasy of the Spiderman franchise, I'll be a happy girl....and it will probably do really well. If it's AT ALL like Elektra, Dardevil, or ee gads Catwoman *shudders*, it's doomed. Which btw Catwoman SO should have been better written and played by Michelle....can we have a do-over? Would that be so wrong to just try Catwoman again? Come on....they did it with Superman, let's do it with Catwoman. Well, perhaps Tigress IS the sort of do-over and they will do the female/feline combo heroin again except this time do it RIGHT. :D

L.

yep was gutted

bring on tigeress

so what happened to the whole wonder woman thing what happened with that

my parents where like we won't be seeeing a movie you noticed on the internet again (lol that was my excuse)i just wanted to see michelle in the movie

I hated fantastic four. sheeez. if Tigress turns out like that then ... Meh.

Somehow, i dont think this movie will even make it to Australia...

hah its never made it to britain ether but shssssssssssssssssss

lol

I just will never understand how with the TONS of money and people involved in filmmaking not ONE PERSON along the way said, "Wait a minute, this is AWEFUL." How can you not know/notice how bad the script is before hand, then how bad the scenes and dialogue are while filming, then how bad it all is in the editing/mixing rooms afterwards....I mean, it goes through so many phases before it's complete.....you mean to tell me not ONE PERSON ever goes, "Wait....we can't put this out. This is HORRIBLE."

Come on....God, such a waste of time and money and talent (Rodriguez and Kingsley).

L.

Standing ovasion man you all ways know what to say man

coolio so true

All fault would seem to lie with its director...Uwe Boll. "Giant Magazine" recently declared this guy as the worst director of all time. Look out Ed Wood! :lol:

I special ordered the dvd the other day in order to complete my Michelle collection. After reading everyone's reviews Im not going into this thing expecting more than Michelle having a bit of screen time. Oh well, at least Ive got ALL the movies now!

^
|
LOL. Dude, I don't know how to buy this....it'll have to be online I guess b/c there's no way I'd purchse it at the store....can you imagine the looks I'd get? No thank you.

Anyway, I'll only buy it if it has her in the special features a good amount. Let me know k Rhush? Otherwise I won't waste my time and especially my money.

I have high quality BloodRayne clips for the site anyway....I've had them for several weeks I just didn't want to add them till after the DVD release so I wouldn't get into any trouble you know? But yeah....I'll have them up soon.

....and thanks lostlover111. ;)

L.

Will do, Leigh!

Thanks. :)

L.

its ok leigh all part of my special be nice about everything for one week except lost people i dislike um and many other things but people don't need to knwo that

I still don't know if I should buy BloodRayne over the net or download it ....I mean I refuse to spend any of my hard earned money on something associated with Uwe Boll....but then again it does have Michelle in it. *Sign* Ah to hell with it, I think I'll just stare at the screencaps on MRU.
Thank you god for not letting Silent Hill fall into Uwe Boll's (the sad excuse for a director/game fan he is) grimy little hands....oh god I can just imagine what would happen if he had directed it *trys not to vomit*.

i got bored in like the first ten minutes of silent hill it was on a sat night so i walked out and decided to come on the forums lol


thats how much dedication i can show lol

That's the first time that I've heard of someone walking out in the first ten minutes. I know that some people(mostly movie critics and non-fans) didn't like the film at all....but walking out in the first ten minutes that's a new one on me. Anyway, no worries lostlover111. I understand that most non-fans don't get SH's mandatory slow pacing or why it didn't have a high MTV pace and fast editing kind of style. Motions and firepower everywhere.

i walked out of american (haunting) something the first ten mins as well its the one that came out with silent hill it was boring as helll gawd i don't get films that mean something and you have to work it out i can with tv but films taht lag annoy me i have walked out of maney films for finding them boring like alian vrs preditor i did not like it at the beginning so i sat in the bath room reluctently walking back in and finding out i like the film lol


but thats me for ya

i would never walk out of a michelle film tough lol

but other films lets say the exorcism of emily rose that was coolio gawd im weired with movies and i have a short attention spam i have to keep moving house of waxxs probly the funniest me and me mate sitting on sofda the rest on the floor we had these plastic hand cuffs of the girls brother and we where stuuck together lol(it was a sleep over ) i got bored of house and wax and all the talking so i distracted me mates and we was waiting for the killlings man any way were flivkin stuff at them then i decided we would jump out on them lol scaring the living day lights out of them then we walked out flicked lights on and of made noises they dent notice we where gone and we got our attention drawn back by the fact that paris hilton got a spear throw her eye and we was laffin at that for the rest of the film oh abnd the girl and he finger and mmmmmm chad micheal murrey we was laffin one girl had gone home in the middle of the night scared lol me n tash that was lol that was really cool

but me and movies equals short attention usually resulting in walking out

or going the bathroom if im with mates at the cinima